Bad Big Sister!


Mom, Me (big sister), & Patsy (little sister)

When I was younger ( I am talking like still at home, in elementary school younger) there was nothing that could get under my skin quicker or deeper than my little sister. She is six years younger than me, so automatically everything she did was wrong. I was the older, more mature sister, and well she was the baby! And, babies, are well, BABIES!

It all started the day she was born. She was supposed to be a boy, but she came out a girl. This ticked me off, right from the very beginning! I remember seeing her for the very first time and hoping that the hospital and my parents had made a MASSIVE mistake! My baby sister had a head full of stick,straight, jet-black hair and her skin was the color of plums! This ticked me off even more! If I was being forced into taking on a baby sister against my will, I wanted one that at least favored me. I wanted her to have blonde hair and fair skin, but, NO! She was only three days old, and was already dark and gorgeous! My fury did nothing but mount from this day forward!

The older she got the older I got! She started walking and I started looking forward to driving! She started playing with Barbie Dolls and I started wishing I looked like Barbie, boobs and all! I wanted to spend all my time with my friends and boyfriend and then, so did she. My mom would insist that I let her hang out with us. Do you know how embarrassing it is to have your eight year old sister “Hang out with you”? Very. Very. Embarrassing! It just kept getting worse and my mother never helped the matter at all. I can still hear her say, “You need to be nicer to your sister, She’s the only one you got.”. Like I didn’t know that and like I wasn’t grateful she was the only sister I had! Trust me she was more than enough! Plus, I was so bad at being a big sister, there was no way God would give me another.

See it really wasn’t my fault that I was a Terrible big sister, and i was TERRIBLE, or that she was Annoying, little sister. It was always the age gap, and there was never a bridge wide or long enough to close the gap. We were always at different stages at different ages. I always worried that we may never catch up to one another, because regardless or not, if I would admit it to anyone back then, there was nothing I wanted more than to be closer to my little sister. Someday, I wanted us to be attached at the hip. Inseparable! Undivided! I wanted us to live together when our husbands die off, and our children move away! Just me and my sister, living in a little white house, complaining about how our bowels want move like they should. Why Bengay shouldn’t smell as bad as it does and fussing over why our children don’t visit more often than they do while eating a bowl oatmeal and drinking a glass of Benefiber.

We are definetly not there just yet. I am just 31 after all, but we have closed the gap significantly. Believe it or not, it took distance in miles to help us grow closer. When I left home and went to college, I came down with a horrible case of homesickness. I missed my mommy and little sister so much, I could have puked every day for a month. I came home every weekend, but it wasn’t the same as seeing them everyday. I spent a lot of time thinking about how I should have been a better daughter and a better sister while I was still at home. They probably didn’t even miss me like I missed them, because I was so horrible. Darn it, I wanted them to miss me as much as i missed them! So, I decided to make an effort with my lil sister. I decided to actually try to be a decent big sister.

When I would come home, I would spend as much time as possible with Patsy. We went on double dates together. I took her shopping for her first prom dress. I woke her up in the middle of the night to tell her first, before anyone else, that I got engaged. She was my maid of honor. She was with me when my babies were born. I was her matron of honor on her wedding day and I plan to be there when her bundle of joy arrives in April. I am trying to be there when she needs me, especially when it matters the most!

I love my sister! I would not take anything in this world for her, or my brother! I am so grateful that despite all my shortcomings God saw me fit to be a big sister, and I am so very grateful that Patsy gave me a second chance when I didn’t deserve one. I hope she can say now, that she has the big sister she always wanted! Love you, Patsy!