What happens when you can’t sleep

It’s 4 a.m. and I’m up again. Someone knee-high is yelling for juice. I crawl out of bed, fill a cup up, and head back to bed. I crawl under the covers and wait for the slumber, but it never comes. Someone else begins to play hokey-pokey in my abdomen. Tiny kicks and punches tap out a little Morris code between mommy and unborn child. “I’m still in here, so suck it up, Momma. Swollen sinuses and an aching back can not compare to what is yet to come. Pregnancy is the easy part, remember!” Kick, punch, twirl.

The sleep I feign is not returning, not this time. I give up and turn on the one-eyed monster. After discovering the fountain of youth, the secret to crystal-clear skin, and the cure for arthritis by watching one too many info commercials, I begin to yearn for TV shows of years long passed. Aww, nostalgia! I remember when syndication was simple and reality was completely fictional. Hop aboard you eighties babies, and take a little trip with me.

Some of you may find this hard to believe, but before these pale faces

Who knew pale could be more attractive than a good, golden tan?

Who knew pale could be more attractive than a good, golden tan?

and these blood-seeking Vamps,

Yikes!  They look very thirsty...

Yikes! They look very thirsty…

there were real Munsters on TV.

Oh, how I miss them!

Oh, how I miss them!

These Munsters were one of a kind. They behaved exactly like The Clevers but looked a little Monsterish. Daddy, Herman worked long hours and never received a promotion. Mommy, Lily, stayed at home and cared for her brood. Their son Eddy answered the one question weighing on everyone’s mind for centuries. “What type of Munster would you get if Frankenstein hooked up with Draculara?” A werewolf. Duh! Basically, you got the Monsters without the fangs, fur, and pandemonium. The best part: absolutely, no humans were harmed in the making of this show!

I guess you could say, “I’m missing the Wonder Years.”

Paul, Kevin, and Winnie.  Good Times!

Paul, Kevin, and Winnie. Good Times!

I loved The Wonder Years from the very first episode when I heard the raspy, Joe Cocker, belt out the theme song, “With a little help from my friends.” This show constantly tugged at my heart-strings. I fell madly in love with Kevin Arnold and planned our entire wedding, from food to flowers, while still in grade school. As much as I loved him, deep down I knew his heart would always belong to Winnie. I will not even tell you how many boxes of Kleenex’s I went thru when the last episode aired, or the intense rage I felt at knowing in the end Kevin and Winnie were not meant to be. Seriously, people! Why does first love rarely last? Is there any justice left in this world? At least, Kevin left me with these words:

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day you’re in diapers, the next day you’re gone. But the memories of childhood stay with you for the long haul. I remember a place, a town, a house, like a lot of houses. A yard like a lot of other yards. On a street like a lot of other streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back…with wonder.
–Kevin Arnold, The Wonder Years

And, life goes on…..

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and on, even if you have a child with special needs, even if your first love dies in a fiery car crash, even if your new boyfriend has full-blown AIDS, even if sometimes you wish it would just stop. Life goes on, but a good television series often does not! I heart u 4-ever, Corky!

I could go on to tell you how bad I wanted to be a resident of this zip code.

Who wouldn't wanna live in Beverly Hills?

Who wouldn’t wanna live in Beverly Hills?

and, I could tell you about how I fully intend to be one of these…..Someday.

I think I have a good shot at being Dorothy, except I am about three feet shorter than her and size doesn't matter after all.

I think I have a good shot at being Dorothy, except I am about three feet shorter than her and size doesn’t matter after all.

But, now I finally feel a little sleepy..maybe I’ll dream of Kevin Arnold or Dylan McKay . Goodnight y’all!

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